Lotto and the Young Lads

My family is a walking comedy reality life.

True story…to protect the innocent, I will not use any names.

My son, (remember I will not use names), is always trying to live the life of a good, Christian young man. As a part of his Christian worldview, he has misgivings about the lotto and feels like it has no place in the life of a man of faith. But $400 million is a lot of buckos, and the lotto jackpot was quite intriguing to him and his friend.

They came up with a plan. They would meet at Publix to buy what they hoped would be the winning ticket, for two heads are better than one. They would be in and out quickly and no-one would know. Well, my boy got there before his friend and proceeded to purchase his ticket. However, he forgot one thing: if you’re going into an undercover operation, your clothing must be a vital part of the getaway.

The young man was wearing a t shirt professing Christianity all over it; it even had a Bible verse. He got to Publix first, and quickly purchased his ticket. He would now wait for his friend, incognito. Or so he planned. A little old lady noticed his shirt and engaged him in lively conversation. She had lots of compliments: how proud she was to see young people like him openly professing their faith and doing the Lord’s work. The shirt was advertising a youth group camp, and she was very impressed. The little old lady asked him all sorts of questions about his walk with Christ. My son began to squirm.

All that was going through his mind during this intense interrogation by the old lady (that’s what it felt like to him), was that he had been busted by an angel of the Lord dressed in a flowery house dress and impersonating Grandma. He had slid the tickets behind his back out of her view. But, he said he felt like she was peering right through his chest…through his back and was reading all the numbers that he had scratched onto the lotto ticket. Why did he choose to buy lotto tickets on a day when the A/C in Publix was broken? It sure was hot in the store. (Needless to say, I was rolling on the floor in laughter!)

Well, the nice, little old lady patted him on the shoulder and went on her merry way. She even seemed like she had a little jog in her step as she waddled on out the store. While thinking to himself what the hell had just happened, my son’s friend arrived. They proceeded to join the long line for his tickets.

They hold steady in the line, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. The thing is, his friend was just as inexperienced in purchasing lotto tickets as he was. After a lengthy wait, they finally made it to the front of the dreaded line…he handed the ticket to the cashier…she immediately exclaimed in a very loud voice, “Sir, you have the wrong amount of numbers!” The lad had scratched on 7 numbers instead of 5. My son says every single person in the supermarket, the entire Publix, stopped to look, or so it seemed. Who were these two who did not know how to fill out a simple lotto card? Awful!

The cashier sternly instructed them to go to the back of the line and make the corrections. Everyone in line just glared at the 2 young men as they walked down the line of shame. Finally, relieved, they reached the front again. The cashier, in a commanding voice, two tones deeper than before, said to my son’s friend, “You don’t look old enough…can I see an ID, please?”.

The moral of the story: when you are purchasing lotto tickets; wear a disguise, avoid old ladies, check your numbers twice, and grow a beard so you look old enough. I have nothing else to say to either one of these alacritous two. I did go to bed with a smile on my face! By the way, do you know what the winning lotto numbers are?